Enough of B’teyavon!!!!!!!

This really grinds my gears!

Without fail, any place in which I wish to eat a meal, sandwich, or even minuscule snack of any kind some Israeli comes out of the woodwork to tell be B’teyavon! (Bon appétit).

I can be on a bus, train, a hike, or alone on top of the Hermon and out of nowhere, just as I am about to eat anything out jumps some weirdo and his B’teyavon.

There are those who might find this charming (the same obnoxious new Oleh Ba’al Teshuvahesque people who love to tell you how much they love it when it rains here). To me, its kind of feels like someone interrupting a sneeze just as you’re about to let it rip.

I hate it.

Why? Because of how ridiculously ironic it is and the absurd function it serves to the distorted Israeli psyche.

The same Israeli who: pisses on public tree lawns, who needlessly drives like an inspired lunatic and curses your mother’s mother when you get in his way for a quarter second, who litters with a passion, walks around in his boxer shorts on a hot day while abusing small animals, who spits sunflower seeds everywhere he eats them, who recklessly spews religious bigotry, who lies cheats and steals from unsuspecting tourists six ways to Sunday, who cuts in every line imaginable, who smokes at bus stops next to pregnant women and young children, curses like a Mohammedan sailor, and VOTES FOR EHUD OLMERT has the nerve to tell ME B’teyavon!!!

I believe that the Israeli, aware that it is lacking any unique sense of culture or etiquette (alla Ahad Ha'am) has only recourse to invoke what is actually a crude insult in what may overtly appear as its single expression of good manners.

Notice how it is always and only stated once the food is about to enter your mouth, its like they wait with baited breath just to irk you with polite offense.

You see what the Israeli really means is: F**K YOU!

They are just so socially despicable that they have found a method for insulting you with what should otherwise serve as their only redeeming quality, but rather than bow to the expectation that they do as such, they remain consistently vulgar.